My Two Cents On The Irish Granny Rule....
It’s time to cast the British spy back out in the cold....
There used to be a time when MI6 agents would go to their unmarked graves with only secrets about where the bodies were buried. But, in the wake of Brexit, you’d just as likely discover an Irish passport in their back pocket when exhuming them.
It was certainly a turn-up for the books when quintessential British spy novelist John Le Carre, posthumously hailed in one tribute as the “great embodiment and chronicler of Englishness”, furtively took out Irish citizenship shortly before his death at the grand old age of 89 in 2020 [see above pic of him celebrating].
Now, his decision wasn’t made out of any blind patriotism for the auld sod, because the “country of his soul” was actually Germany, according to one close friend. The German-speaking author had only applied for an Irish passport via the Granny Rule as a two-finger salute to Queen and Country over Brexit.
Such silly symbolic gestures are a waste of time for our already strained passport system, which is always hit with lengthy application delays every summer.
It’s under even fiercer pressure now with the number of British seeking Irish citizenship having risen six-fold according to figures released last year. I had even read that immediately after Brexit the number had jumped by a colossal 1,115% at one stage!
Just to put these figures into perspective, there was only a meagre 54 British citizens looking to officially call themselves a “Paddy” only the year before the Brexit referendum. I’d love to know how many of those recent applications were Remainders vs. hypocritical Brexiters.
Even the loyalist of Loyalists, Ian Paisley Jnr boasted about getting an Irish passport – news that must’ve had his old man spinning in his grave.
The granny rule has made Ireland a marriage of convenience – or, worse still, the equivalent of an easy booty call – for our nearest neighbours. The vast majority of them only want a passport with a harp stamped on it just to waltz through airports, or to retire in Spain without any messy red tape. An Irish passport is like their very own version of a Willy Wonka golden ticket.
Perhaps you could forgive our government for handing out Irish passports to every Tom, Dick, or Harry if it was a real money-spinner. Just like when former Taoiseach Albert Reynolds “gave away” Irish passports to countless Saudis and Indian multi-millionaires for pumping at least one million old punts into the country.
We’re definitely getting short-changed now with this Granny Rule, in more ways than one. Did you know it’s not even a reciprocal? The buck stops with a British-born parent if you fancy a UK passport.
But why would you even bother, seeing as a UK passport, within an EU context, is almost as worthless as an IOU from a Russian bank.
It was all well and dandy when the Granny Rule worked in our favour to help entice Premier League footballers to play for us during the glory days of Jack Charlton and Mick McCarthy.
But even that’s become a bit of an own goal after turncoats Declan Rice and Jack Grealish “played” us as a means to an end. Their careers only took off after they jumped ship, which would’ve been duly noted by other up-and-coming hungry English footballers with an Irish granny. As I joked at the time, it was bad enough that they took our potatoes but now they were taking our Rice too!
If the crazy demand keeps going up and up, Irish passports could soon be deemed second-class in Europe. We’ll definitely end up with a bad reputation if we suddenly start seeing regular court reports of “Irish” hooligans arrested at overseas Champions League games and on their package holliers in the Med.
It’s time to show the red card to our out-dated Granny rule.